Sasuke Waits for Santa Clause
by Mistlan
Summary: Kaiju Chaos Kyuubi Style spin off just in time for the holidays. Pairings? Purposely skewed. Timeline? Purposely skewed. Plot? Sasuke is bound and determined to protect people from the danger that is . . . Santa Clause.


**Author's Note: **This is a spin off of Kaiju Chaos Kyuubi Style. The pairings and timeline are purposefully skewed so that you the readers can add whatever extra details you want. It's not romantic, it's fluff and it's got a little something for everyone this Christmas. **  
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Godzilla the Series (c) Sony Studios and Naruto(c)Masashi Kishimoto, Clarity Cratchet and Murray Monody(c)Martha Pearson

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**Sasuke Waits for Santa Clause**

"Sasuke . . . Uh . . . Sasuke what are you doing?" I asked trying to stifle a yawn. It was way too late to be awake. Way past even _my _bedtime. I had my waist length black hair down. My fluffy red and green pajamas and fluffy green toad slippers. I mean, c'mon, it was Christmas eve! The Holiday just screamed for Christmas Colors and this particularly cold night was just perfect for wearing something fluffy. "It's Christmas Eve night so why are you staking out the fire place?"

"I'm not staking out the fireplace," Sasuke huffed, even though he had army provisions, camp food, and a pair of binoculars which is _everything _most ninjas carry when they're preparing for war or in this case a stake out, "I'm just staying on guard duty."

"Uh-huh," I mused, "And would guard duty include a list the size of your sword?"

Sasuke snatched the long piece of parchment and stuffed it into his sweat pants pocket. He borrowed some clothes from my business partner Murray who, of course, is a major Christmas fan. The oversized Reindeer Sweater seemed to swallow Sasuke's pale thin frame whole. He crossed his arms and I could hear the familiar clink of hidden weapons. He tried to break the little battery that made the many lights on that sweater go on and off but it was no use because the thing was bought to be indestructible. So Sasuke literally planted his stakeout in the Christmas tree so he could blend in. Lots of luck when bright colors stand out against a backdrop of electric candle lights.

I plopped down next to Sasuke, on the couch, hot cup of coffee in hand. Murray finally came down with an extra plate piled high with Lebkougans**(1)**, Gingerbread Ninjas, Sugar Cookie Godzillas, and peanut brittle. Sasuke gave him a glare, his way of asking, what took Murray so long. Murray happily left his amber hair uncombed, wore yesterday's Marvel Heroes boxers with a DC comics T-shirt each with a big Christmas theme. His teal eyes sparkled in glee as he sat the cookie plate on the end table beside another plate Labeled _"To: Santa with love; From: Clarity, Murray, & Sasuke"_

"Sasuke, this is the part where you leave your list by the cookies we made for Santa." I explained in jest.

"Hn," Sasuke snorted and went through his pockets pulling out senbon, a kunai, explosive tags, smoke pellets and a high caliber BB gun before the list tumbled out. He set it real carefully by the cookies with a long thread of ninja wire attached to it. Which was also attached to something ticking.

"SASUKE WHAT'RE YOU DOING?" I yelled. I went after the thing with some wire cutters before Sasuke grabbed me.

"Sasuke don't spring a booby trap on Santa Clause," Murray wailed he jumped on Sasuke's back while Sasuke lunged and stretched trying to set up his explosive bomb again, "Just please, please, please, don't."

Sasuke finally gave up and asked, "Why?"

"He'll put coal in all three of our stockings if you did. One in yours for trying to kill Santa Claus. One in Clarity's for letting you into the house and one in mine for not stopping you." Murray piped. "Isn't Christmas about good happy feelings and that one time out of the year where everyone feels safe?"

"Safe," Sasuke scoffed and fumed, "Safe? You let some fat guy who nobody knows well or even knows what he looks like-"

"Hey Everyone knows what Santa Clause looks like," Murray argued back, "It's in Santa Clause Comes to Town, Santa Clause I, Santa Clause II, Santa Clause III, and that cute little Coca Cola commercial where Santa Clause shakes the snow globe and happy things happen. Sasuke you never watch the movies."

"I train, I don't have time waiting for Santa Clause," Sasuke argued back, "Or to watch any movies."

"Than why did you stake out the fire place?"

"Look I'm staying on Guard!" Sasuke snapped he filched a piece of food from his ration pack, "I still don't know why people let some complete and total stranger break into their houses in order to leave questionable packages that leave people hurt and/or killed."

I left the room to get another cup of coffee. I couldn't help but think about how much a simple debate made Sasuke so vocal. Usually someone would say something by accident and he'd get personal like when someone usually said the words love and/or family in a sentence. I filled my Christmas Mug from the Carafe. Should I tell him that Santa Clause is actually symbolic of love, peace, and family togetherness on earth? Those three things were the bane of Sasuke's existence. His family, besides his mom, weren't all together on things. He had no peace under Orochimaru's tutelage and the only time he ever felt a hint of love was during his time on Team 7 and maybe when Murray, Sasuke, and I all sat down for dinner here.

"Yeah so?" Murray scolded, "People don't ask for dangerous things Sasuke, and you don't have to be a kid to love Santa Clause. Look at me, I'm already a grown man and I think Santa's one of the most awesome things since Pumpkin Pie!"

"Good for you Murray," Sasuke scoffed, "Love that jolly old intruder all you want. I'm still going to protect this house from the danger that is . . . Santa Clause."

During the pause I shoved a mug of chamomile tea into Sasuke's unsuspecting hand. He really needed his nerves soothed before something caught on fire. I'm not being unfair, I included something for everyone and served myself last. Murray got his hot chocolate and I settled in between both the arguers with my cup of coffee.

"What about you Clarity?" Sasuke asked turning towards me, "Is Santa a security threat everywhere he goes?"

I took a long sip of coffee. My mind went through many options on how to delegate this. My apprentice Sai asked the exact same thing. The whole Santa-being-a-Security-threat shtick. Of course when Sai asked, I actually had to explain from the top what Santa Clause is and answer all those questions little kids normally ask like how does Santa fit his rotund self through all those skinny chimneys. Then I had to make sure Sai didn't put a deadly Booby trap on the door. Sai's Christmas wish ended up being (a) capture Santa Clause and (b) interrogate him on stealth tactics. Sai usually ends up being my guinea pig on how to explain things and believe me, even ordinary objects become leathal weapons in the hands of a ninja. Which for this particular village is actually quite normal, and just the way some people are.

"Sasuke, do you remember," I started to ask, my mind first thought of Sarutobi, who was rumored to be a nice man but he also ordered the Uchiha Massacre, not what Sasuke would put in mind of a jolly old elf though the old part fit like a glove, "Do you remember Kakashi Hatake?"

"Kakashi-sensei? Bah, he's nothing like Santa Clause," Sasuke snorted, "He's always late, if he was to deliver presents worldwide in a single night then we wouldn't get anything until New Years Day."

"Yes, he's a procrastinator, but isn't he a little good natured, and doesn't he always put his comrades before himself," I interjected, causing Sasuke to cross his arms and brood. Though when I thought of Kakashi, I remembered another idea Kakashi used when Naruto did the same thing. "I'll tell you what. How about I wait with you for Santa Clause."

"I'll get the lights!" Murray announced, "Than I'm going to bed! Santa always comes when people are sleeping."

"They didn't do that in Twas the Night Before Christmas," Sasuke snorted, to which Murray giggled.

"And Mama in her kerchief and I in my cap had just settled down for a long winter's _naaaaaap!"_ Murray recited, only to dodge Sasuke's flying cookies, yup this argument was going to last for many Christmases. "Night night Sugarplum."

"I'm not a Sugarplum!" Sasuke yelled before he turned to me and hissed, "What exactly _is_ a sugarplum anyway?"

"It's something sweet," I told him, to which Sasuke visibly shuddered. "Oh c'mon at least it tastes better than that chalky F grade granola bar you're chomping. In fact here have a cookie."

"Cookies are sugary vices of death, they'll . . . Uh . . . They'll-go-straight-to-my-hips!" Sasuke stammered, which in public, Sasuke would strangle me. So, don't tell him that I actually told you about his stammering.

"Sasuke, you lost weight this holiday season. If you lost anymore weight you'd look bulimic." I'd deadpanned. Sasuke barely patted the drawstring he actually had to pull all the way up to adjust his borrowed sweatpants.

"Besides Sasuke, look, those cookies," I pointed out, indicating the Gingerbread ninjas, "Have more ginger and snap then they do actual sugar. In fact it's more rich and deep instead of sweet. Try one of those and tell me what you think."

Sasuke tentatively took a Gingerbread Ninja and nibbled off the head. He kind of balked at the tiny sting of sugar every cookie can have, but, once he chewed awhile he didn't find it half bad. He reached for another cookie, same kind, and tried a lebkougan. Lebkougan got put back on the plate. I finished it but the Gingerbread Ninjas combined with the chamomile tea did the exact affect that I wanted on Sasuke.

I didn't rig anything, Ginger and Chamomile has a soothing affect and heady tastes tend to leave a weighed down feeling in the stomach. Iruka used it once when he had to babysit Kurenai's little one. Kakashi used it when Naruto was staying up to see if Reindeer could fly. Why do you think people take naps after a big meal? Sasuke didn't eat many cookies, he's still not a big fan of sweets but he didn't need to eat a lot. Just a couple home cooked goods is enough.

"Hey Sasuke," I whispered, "Don't get sleepy."

"M'nah-aawwt sleepy," Sasuke yawned.

Too late, Sasuke's eyes were drooping until he slumped over into a meditative state at his "hiding place." I took the list Sasuke wrote. Curiosity got the best of me I read things in a whisper.

"Year's supply of Ramen for Naruto, Icha Icha book for Kakashi, Dress for Sakura because she doesn't dress girly enough? What opinionated much? Restraining order for . . . Well we all know who that's for . . . And my Aniki pegged to a pear tree . . . Wait that's scratched off . . . Hey there's me!" I mused.

"Don't read it!" Sasuke moaned in his sleep, how that boy can know what I'm doing yet sleep like the living dead I'll never know.

"Okay, okay, Mr. Selfless," I teased and put the list back where I found it. He didn't even put down things for himself at the top of the list. He wrote more for everybody else instead of himself. I was about to go to bed myself but what about Sasuke? I promised to wait for Santa Clause with him.

Oh well, I just grabbed some extra blankets from the Lenin closet and camped out beside my friend. Sasuke smacked his lips in his sleep and flipped over, covering himself with the last Blanket I just laid out for me. Some fan girl somewhere would have found him so adorable, cocooned in blankets with his sword held to his chest like a baby holds a teddy bear. Oh who am I kidding? That was the snap shot of the century! I whipped out my DSLR camera, turned the flash off and a few shots later I just had the perfect photo for next year's Christmas card complete with a smirking Sasuke who didn't wake yet. Okay, on second thought maybe he's pretending to sleep and he just smiled for the camera in order to mock me. He's like this annoying little brother but hey, he's family to me.

I wrapped up in the only blanket I did have left; a Godzilla Fleecie, and curled up on the other side of the couch. Sasuke tossed turned, kicking blankets off and went to using me as a pillow. We kind of slept shoulder to shoulder sprawled out on the floor. Sasuke cocooned himself in blankets again and softly snored; baby snores. That's the last thing I remembered that night.

The next morning I awoke to Murray's loud banter and cheering of "Santa's been here! Santa's been here!"

Sasuke jumped upright, sword drawn. His eyes scanned the room. He dropped from his Taijutsu stance and went pacing around the room. He peeked here and there looking for signs of forced entry. He didn't find any evidence and growled.

"Grrrrrr How does he do it!" Sasuke mumbled to himself, "How do people know he's here?"

"Presents!" Murray cheered as if that answered everything, "Presents, presents every where! Wait, Sasuke, drop your sword that's not a booby trap."

Sasuke was about to swing into a very oddly wrapped package. Murray tugged the bow. The bright red wrapping paper floated gently apart revealing layer after layer of pretty tissue paper. Gorgeous stuff until Sasuke ripped it away to reveal a tiny pear sapling. In it at the top was a little crocheted Itachi Doll about six inches toll. The doll was pinned to the pear tree.

"Ha ha," Sasuke said though the amusement never left his voice, "Seems Santa has a sense of humor."

We did convince Sasuke not to blow up the other presents in the house. He wanted to see if they were all booby trapped and was bound and determined to take them to a bomb shelter and light the bomb shelter on fire. I was actually pretty lucky he didn't. In fact when I had to bribe him with hot cider and asked if he really wanted to actually go out into a blizzard during Christmas.

I was happy with my gifts, art supplies, an easel, a fan brush, and batteries! Lots and lots of batteries. What? Did you think I'd ask for the toys and not the little things that power them? Let's see a show of hands, who's actually asked for batteries for Christmas?

This would've been the part where Sasuke would have slapped me one for going off subject on the whole batteries shtick. Anyway, Murray was about the only one who asked for any toys. I mean it's hard not to see that about him. He was delighted by the little Millenium Godzilla Action figure. The knitting pattern for a Manda Plushie. My favorite from his list was the one he wanted for a long time.

"Alright, I got Fushigi Yugi movie poster, Star Wars wall scroll, and Merlin action figure with real laser eyes." Murray cheered, "Now I can die a happy man. Wait I don't want to die yet. I'm going for a cookie."

Laughter bubbled in the room. At a pause, I noticed something else between the tree. I went and took the package out. It felt pretty soft when I squeezed it. A tiny envelope fluttered out. Murray made a reach for it. Sasuke with his long reach snatched it out of the air. We all crowded around Sasuke as he opened up the letter.

**(Santa's Letter)**

_Dear Sasuke,_

_As you know, I've been by your house today and boy do I have a story to tell you. That Santa List you left by the cookies sure surprised me. I went to pull it up and found the strings cut. You don't have to glare at Clarity on this one. She didn't disable the bomb you set up this time; I did._

_You sure have a unique way of showing the holiday spirit Sasuke. I didn't know what exactly to get you. You've been traveling so many years and the last time you wrote me was when you were eight? Maybe my memory is foggy, but I remembered your list pretty well._

_"I want a pony for ino, a dolly for sakura, give naruto a football, Chouji likes food! Easybake oven . . . And . . . and"_

_And Itachi couldn't write fast enough. He finally decided to hook you up to a tape recorder and let you keep yakking. You've always been very vocal around Christmastime. You were really happy that year too, chasing the cats for their paw prints, and you were bound and determined that I was going to break into your house. I've been careful ever since to look before I went down the chimneys; the ninja academy really needs to be careful about teaching their students how to make paper bombs. (P.S. Thanks for not booby trapping the chimney)._

_Anyway, I think I finally found the perfect gift. You did say something practical, and you've always been proud of your family. Well this was an old family heirloom that about got thrown away when you first left the village. We made sure it got repaired and added on it a little. It's a legacy held in the palm of your hand. It took me a while to find the materials but here it is. Thank you for being so giving this holiday season._

_Sincerely with love,_

_Santa Clause_

**(Now on with the story)**

Sasuke zealously tore at the package. He ripped at the paper, the ribbons, and flung wrapping after wrapping. What fell to the floor yet was still held in Sasuke's hands was a quilt, the hand sewn kind made from borrowed materials. A simple square quilt yet it did hold a legacy in its stitches.

A square from the cape of Fugaku's Police Uniform. A sliver from Mikoto's maternity dress that survived at least two pregnancies. Itachi's anbu vest, his shirt, and Akatsuki cloak were fit into a square by itself. Kakashi would've been choked up to find Obito's goggle strap got sewn into it. A piece of Shisui's hitai-ate was in a corner. Madara's armor piece looked long gone, it's emblem faded and forgotten with age.

The newest patches however were from Team Kakashi. Yamato's Jonin vest, pieces of wood still hadn't left the fibers. Sai's shirt; the one that got caught on the Ferris wheel. Kakashi's or should I say one of Kakashi's masks. Naruto's old Jumpsuit from when he was twelve. Sasuke's blue shirt from Konoha, his garb from the land of sound, and that pair of boxers from when he ran amuck in New York held it's own square.

Then there was me and my "contribution" to the quilt. I don't know how Santa got a hold of this stuff. I mean the old patch from my camouflage cargo pants was the Cargo pocket itself. Tsunade actually burned those when she decided I should wear something decent. Murray's Mickey Mouse T-shirt from when we first met ninjas. The HUG ME sweatshirt I shoved over Sasuke's head from when we first found the twins, Shogi and Jira in Alaska. Last but not least. A piece of the blanket all of us, meaning everyone that saw the northern Lights, laid on when we camped out in the Aleutian Islands.

"Wow that is so cool," Murray exclaimed, "The whole legacy in the palm of your hand riddle and the quilt and . . . Sasuke are you crying?"

Sasuke looked choked for words. He wiped his face on his sleeve yet the flood of tears would still follow. He wrapped that quilt around his shoulders and it still swallowed him whole. Almost like he was 8 years old again yet his broad shouldered frame he finally started to grow into kind of threw the impression off a bit. He closed his eyes and drank in the memories. Bantering at the table, his father's surly voice, his mother's firm yet gentle touch, and a time when the relationship between him and his brother didn't have an old scar. Of course there were tears but the whole time he had a musing smile perk up the corners of his lips.

"Sasuke . . . Sasuke," I whispered waving my hand in front of his face, he still lost in memory lane, his tears long since dried up. I inhaled deep and wide before yelling, "YO! SASUKE!"

"Wah!" Sasuke took a tumble and tripped on the quilt. "Clarity, don't do that! You know I have sensitive ears."

Murray helped Sasuke up. He was still tangled in the quilt

"Yeah-yeah and I know you have great selective hearing too." I mused and wrapped him in a big hug. Great he's as tall as me! Not only do I feel short; twenty something or not it makes me feel old. He returned the hug. "Just Merry Christmas Sasuke. It's good to have you finally home."

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**Entertaining Footnotes**

**(1)Lebkougans-**They're a German Christmas cookie made with dried candied fruits and nuts that's real chewy. You make it in October or November and let it age clear through to December. It's like a classic christmas story. Them cookies just get better with time. Clarity just picked up the recipe during her travels. **  
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